FUN AND LINKS
Little Johnny's Time of the Month
The cashier looks at the boy and says, "Hi. Are these for your mom?"
Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, "Umm, no."
The cashier says, "Oh. Then they're for your sister?"
Little Johnny says, "Naw."
The cashier, now a bit curious, says, "Oh. Then they must be for your granny!"
Little Johnny says, "Nope."
The cashier is now really confused. Finally she asks, "Well, what are you going to do with them?"
Little Johnny says, "Well, I'm not sure yet. But on TV, they said if I buy these I can go fishing and swimming and horseback riding!"
Subject: College Final
At an east coast university, there were four sophomores taking a chemistry
course. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc.,
that each had an "A" so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they
decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends
there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept
all day Sunday and didn't make it back to school until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after
the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had
gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but,
unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and
couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.
The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final
the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night
and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed
them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them
They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple
about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one
in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem
and then turned the page.
On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?
Here are some interesting web sites:
www.politicalcartoons.com funny political cartoons
www.pollingreport.com polling data
www.topozone.com topo maps
www.carpoint.com auto information
www.sonorangrill.com interesting southwest cooking
http://www.beseen.com/ messageboards, and other web page tools
www.halfpricehosting.com web-site hosting
www.inflightzone.com interesting photos of aircraft
www.amnh.org/explore/infection/smp_index.html American Museum of Natural History about flu and microbes, for kids
if you have some interesting or fun sites let me know about them.
click on a door, not the “RETURN”.
Just for fun!
Two men were at a bar and one said, " Hey, I had my IQ checked and it was 175, The other responded " That's a coincidence so is mine, what do you do for a living?" " I'm a physicist." was the reply. Again came "that's a coincidence so am I." This was overheard at a nearby table and these two compared IQ's at 160 and were surprised that they were both brain surgeons. At another nearby table one man despondently said to the other "Did you hear that? I had my IQ checked and it was only 52." The other said, rather enthusiastically, "That's a coincidence. So is mine. What instrument do you play????"
The blonde and the Lawyer
A Blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tried, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.” Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.” This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” the blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, bulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn.
She asks the lawyer: “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” the lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.
The blonde says, “Thank You”, and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a muffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?”
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Test (from Connie)
A really cute intelligence test. It's very short so
try it, you may be amazed. A quick test of intelligence. Don't
cheat! Because if you did, the test would be no fun. I promise, there
are no tricks to the test.
Read this sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count ALOUD the F's in that sentence.
Count them ONLY ONCE: do not go back and count them again.
See bottom of page.....
. You bet
a friend you could go to 31 Flavors and buy a different three-scoop ice cream
cone every day for a year, with three different flavors each time and never the
same three as another day. He says, No way. Who takes a licking on this
one? (Answer below)
A. Figure it this way: The first scoop can be any of 31 flavors, the next scoop any of 30 flavors (because you can't repeat the first flavor), then 29 flavors. So multiply 31 times 30 times 29 to get the total number of flavor sequences--26,970. But some of these are repeats because chocolate-vanilla-strawberry, say, is really the same as vanilla-strawberry-chocolate, etc. Each of these three-flavor groupings contains six different variations, so you have to divide 26,970 by 6, yielding 4,495 total possible novel flavor combos!
Fact is, you could have said 12 years and still won your bet
Intelligence Test ANSWER:
There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a GENIUS.
There is no catch. Many people forget the "OF's. The human brain tends to see them as V's and not F's. Pretty weird, huh? It fools almost everybody.
(I got 7 counted one twice, not really. Geo)